Survival Mode: 12 Brutally Honest Tips For Your First Week Home With Baby

Before we even talk about the baby, let’s talk about you. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and right now, your cup is likely leaking, cracked, and being used as a coaster for a cold cup of coffee. These first tips are non-negotiable for your own physical and mental survival.

Tip 1: Actually Sleep When the Baby Sleeps

I know, I know. You’ve heard this a million times and probably rolled your eyes. You think, ‘When the baby sleeps, I need to shower/eat/clean/stare at a wall!’ I get it. But here’s the brutal truth: you are recovering from a major medical event (childbirth!) and are now working a 24/7 job with no breaks. Newborns sleep in short, unpredictable bursts, usually 1-3 hours at a time. If you don’t seize those moments for your own rest, you will hit a wall of exhaustion so hard it will feel physical. The laundry can wait. The thank-you cards can wait. Your recovery cannot. Put your phone away, ignore the mess, and lie down. Even 20 minutes of closed eyes can make a world of difference.

Tip 2: Lower Your Expectations to the Floor (Then Lower Them Again)

Did you envision a tidy home, gourmet meals, and daily showers? It’s a lovely thought. Now, gently pack that vision away for a few months. Your only goals for the day are: 1) Everyone is fed. 2) Everyone is mostly clean. 3) Everyone is alive. That’s it. You are in survival mode. If you manage to brush your teeth and eat a meal that required a fork, you are winning. Celebrate the small victories, like successfully changing a diaper without getting peed on. The pressure to be a ‘perfect parent’ is a myth. Real parenting is messy, chaotic, and fueled by dry shampoo and granola bars.

Tip 3: Create a ‘Go-Away’ Sign (And Actually Use It)

Everyone wants to see the new baby, and while their intentions are good, visitors can be incredibly draining. You do not have to host anyone. Let me repeat that: You are not an event planner right now. Your job is to heal and bond with your baby. It is perfectly acceptable to tell people, ‘We’re so excited for you to meet the baby, but we’re taking this first week to ourselves to recover and adjust. We’ll let you know when we’re ready for visitors.’ A simple text or a sign on the door works wonders. The people who truly love you will understand and will offer to drop off food on your porch instead.

Tip 4: Hydrate and Nourish, Don’t ‘Diet’

Your body just did something amazing, and it needs fuel to recover, especially if you are breastfeeding. This is not the time to worry about ‘bouncing back.’ Focus on hydration and easy-to-eat, nutrient-dense foods. Keep a giant water bottle with you at all times. Set up a ‘feeding station’ for yourself with one-handed snacks like nuts, cheese sticks, fruit, and protein bars. Your partner or support person’s primary job is to keep you fed and watered. Think of it as your pit crew. You need fuel to keep going.

Babies don’t come with instructions, which feels like a major design flaw. They communicate through a series of grunts, cries, and flailing limbs that can feel impossible to interpret. Here’s a cheat sheet for the most common challenges.

Tip 5: Become a Diaper-Changing Ninja

You will change approximately 8-12 diapers a day. That’s a lot of diapers. Set up changing stations in key areas of your house (your bedroom, the living room) so you’re not always running to the nursery. Stock them with diapers, wipes, cream, and a change of clothes. The first few diapers will contain a sticky, tar-like substance called meconium. Don’t be alarmed! A little bit of petroleum jelly on your baby’s bottom before the first poop can make cleanup easier. The golden rule: a clean, dry bottom prevents diaper rash. Change diapers frequently, even if they’re just a little wet.

Tip 6: Master the 5 S’s (But Don’t Expect Miracles)

Dr. Harvey Karp’s ‘5 S’s’ can be a lifesaver for calming a fussy baby. They are meant to mimic the womb environment. Here’s a quick rundown:

• Swaddle: A snug wrap that prevents their startle reflex from waking them up.
• Side/Stomach Position: Holding the baby on their side or stomach (only while holding them, never for sleep).
• Shush: Loud, continuous white noise that sounds like the inside of the womb.
• Swing: Rhythmic, jiggly motions (not vigorous shaking!).
• Suck: A pacifier, a clean finger, or nursing can be incredibly soothing.

These are tools, not magic spells. Sometimes one works, sometimes a combination works, and sometimes nothing works. The goal is to have a toolkit to run through when your baby is inconsolable.

Tip 7: Decode the Cries (It’s Usually Simple)

In these early days, a baby’s cry almost always means one of a few things. Before you panic, run through this mental checklist:

1. Hunger: Is it time to eat? Look for hunger cues like rooting, lip-smacking, or putting hands to their mouth. Crying is a late hunger signal.
2. Diaper: Is it wet or dirty? A quick check can solve the problem instantly.
3. Temperature: Are they too hot or too cold? Feel the back of their neck. It should be warm and dry, not sweaty or cold.
4. Tired: Have they been awake for more than 45-60 minutes? Newborns get overstimulated very easily.
5. Gas/Burp: Do they need to be burped? Try different burping positions.

99% of the time, one of these will be the culprit. You’ll learn your baby’s specific cues over time.

Tip 8: Accept That Feeding is a Full-Time Job

Whether you are breastfeeding or formula-feeding, get ready to spend a significant portion of your day (and night) feeding your baby. Newborns need to eat every 2-3 hours, measured from the start of one feeding to the start of the next. Yes, that means if a feeding takes an hour, you might only have an hour ‘off’ before it starts again. Breastfed babies often ‘cluster feed,’ especially in the evenings, where they want to nurse constantly for several hours. This is normal behavior to boost your milk supply. It’s demanding and exhausting. Find a comfortable spot, get your snacks and water, and settle in. This phase is intense but temporary.

Important Note: If you are struggling with feeding—whether it’s latching pain, concerns about milk supply, or questions about formula amounts—please reach out for help immediately. Contact a lactation consultant (IBCLC) or your pediatrician. You do not have to figure this out alone.

The physical exhaustion is one thing, but the emotional upheaval of the first week can be even more challenging. Your hormones are on a wild ride, you’re responsible for a new life, and your entire world has changed overnight. Be gentle with yourself and your partner.

Tip 9: Your Partner is Not Your Enemy

Sleep deprivation, stress, and hormonal shifts are a toxic cocktail for any relationship. You and your partner will likely be snippy with each other. You might feel like your partner isn’t doing enough, and they might feel helpless and unsure of how to support you. Try to remember you are on the same team. The enemy is the exhaustion, not each other. Use simple, direct communication. Instead of ‘You never help!’, try ‘Can you please take the baby for 20 minutes so I can shower?’ Acknowledge that this is hard for both of you. A hug and a ‘we’re in this together’ can go a long way.

Tip 10: The ‘Baby Blues’ Are Real (And So Is PPD)

Up to 80% of new mothers experience the ‘baby blues’ in the first week or two after birth. This can include mood swings, tearfulness, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed. It’s caused by the massive hormonal drop after delivery. It’s usually temporary and should fade within a couple of weeks. However, it’s crucial to be aware of the signs of Postpartum Depression (PPD), which is more severe and persistent. These can include intense sadness, loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, feelings of worthlessness, or thoughts of harming yourself or the baby.

Safety First: There is no shame in asking for help. If your feelings are intense or not getting better after two weeks, talk to your doctor, your partner, or a trusted friend. You are not a bad parent for feeling this way. You are a human going through a monumental life change.

Tip 11: Trust Your Gut (It’s Smarter Than Google at 3 AM)

The internet can be a terrifying rabbit hole for new parents. One little symptom can lead you down a path to a rare, catastrophic disease according to Dr. Google. While it’s important to be informed, it’s more important to trust your own parental intuition. You know your baby better than anyone. If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t hesitate to call your pediatrician’s office—that’s what they are there for! They would much rather you call about something that turns out to be nothing than have you wait and worry.

Tip 12: This Too Shall Pass (Promise)

This is the most important tip of all. In the thick of the 3 AM cluster feeds, the endless crying, and the bone-deep exhaustion, it can feel like this is your life forever. It is not. The first week is the hardest. The first month is a blur. But it gets better. Every day, your baby will grow a little more, you will heal a little more, and you will become more confident. You will sleep again. You will feel like yourself again. This is a season, and it is a short one. Try to find tiny moments of joy amidst the chaos—the milky smiles, the little hand wrapped around your finger, the weight of their warm body on your chest. You are doing an incredible job.