Help! My Baby Won’t Nurse: Surviving the 3-Month Breastfeeding Strike

Understanding the ‘why’ behind a nursing strike can instantly relieve so much of your anxiety. Your baby isn’t rejecting you; they’re responding to a new development or discomfort. Around three months, a baby’s world simply explodes with new awareness.

Common Culprits Behind the Strike:

• The World is Too Interesting: At three months, your baby’s eyesight has improved dramatically. They can see across the room, notice shadows on the wall, and hear the dog walking down the hall. They get serious FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)! Lying still to nurse feels like missing the party. This distractibility is probably the #1 cause of the 3-month strike.
• Physical Discomfort: Think about how you feel when you don’t feel well—you often don’t have much of an appetite. The same goes for your baby. Common causes include:
  • Teething pain: Even if you can’t see a tooth, those gums can be incredibly sore. The suction of nursing can make it worse.
  • An ear infection: Lying on one side can put painful pressure on an infected ear.
  • A stuffy nose: It’s hard to breathe and eat at the same time!
  • Soreness from immunizations: The injection site might be tender, making certain nursing positions uncomfortable.
• A Fright or Negative Association: Did you accidentally yell out in pain when they chomped down? Or did a loud noise, like a dog barking, startle them mid-feed? Sometimes, a single scary event can make them wary of nursing for a little while.
• Changes in Your Scent or Routine: Have you started using a new soap, perfume, or deodorant? Are there lots of new visitors in the house? Have you recently gone back to work? Babies are sensitive creatures of habit, and these changes can throw them for a loop.
• Flow Frustration: Sometimes, a mother’s let-down can be very forceful, making the baby gag or sputter. Conversely, as your milk supply regulates, the flow might be slower than they’re used to, causing them to get impatient and pull off.

Remember, a nursing strike is your baby’s way of communicating. They aren’t being difficult on purpose. Our job is to play detective and figure out what they’re trying to tell us.

When the strike hits, your first instinct might be to panic. Instead, let’s channel that energy into a calm, methodical plan. Your two primary goals are simple: feed the baby and protect your milk supply.

Step 1: Stay Calm and Don’t Force It

This is the hardest but most important step. Your baby is exquisitely tuned in to your emotions. If you’re tense and stressed, they will be too. Forcing them to the breast when they’re resisting will only create a negative association and prolong the strike. Offer gently, and if they refuse, smile, cuddle them for a minute, and then stop. Try again in 30 minutes or so.

Step 2: Rule Out Illness

Do a quick wellness check. Does your baby have a fever? Are they tugging at their ears? Do they seem unusually fussy or lethargic even when not trying to feed? If you suspect any illness, especially an ear infection, call your pediatrician right away. Resolving the underlying medical issue is often all it takes to end the strike.

Step 3: Make Nursing All About Comfort Again

We need to remind your baby that the breast is a safe, wonderful, comforting place to be. The best way to do this is with lots of non-demanding, skin-to-skin contact.

• Spend time with your baby stripped down to their diaper, resting on your bare chest.
• Take a warm bath together. The water is soothing, and they may even latch on instinctively.
• Wear your baby in a sling or carrier. The closeness and gentle movement can be very calming.

The goal here is connection, not feeding. Let them relax and re-establish that bond without any pressure.

Once you’ve established a calm foundation, you can try some gentle tricks to entice your little one back to nursing. This is about being creative and finding what works for your unique baby.

Try a Change of Scenery and Position

• Go Dark & Quiet: Take your baby into a dimly lit, quiet room with no distractions. Turn on a white noise machine to block out the interesting sounds of the house. This helps with the highly distractible baby.
• Get Moving: Many babies can’t resist nursing while in motion. Try breastfeeding while walking around the house, gently swaying, or bouncing on a yoga ball. The rhythm is incredibly soothing.
• Switch it Up: If you always nurse in the cradle hold, try the football hold or side-lying. A new position might be more comfortable if they have a sore spot, or it might just be novel enough to capture their interest. The laid-back, or ‘biological,’ nurturing position is fantastic as it can help with a fast let-down and lets the baby feel more in control.

Catch Them When They’re Sleepy

This is the secret weapon for many parents. A drowsy baby operates more on instinct and is far less likely to protest or get distracted.

• The ‘Dream Feed’: Offer the breast when your baby is just falling asleep or just starting to wake up from a nap.
• Night Feedings: You may find that your baby nurses perfectly well overnight, even while striking during the day. Lean into these sessions!

Safety Note: If you try nursing in bed, especially in a side-lying position, be sure to follow all safe co-sleeping guidelines. Remove all pillows, blankets, and soft bedding from around the baby.

While you work on resolving the strike, it’s absolutely critical to maintain your milk supply and make sure your baby is getting enough nutrition. A drop in supply can make a baby even more frustrated at the breast, creating a vicious cycle.

Feed the Baby, Protect the Supply

This is your mantra. For every scheduled nursing session your baby misses, you need to remove that milk yourself.

• Pumping or Hand Expressing: Use a breast pump or learn hand expression to empty your breasts on the same schedule your baby was nursing. This signals your body to keep making milk.
• Feeding Your Baby: The milk you express can be given to your baby. If you’re concerned about nipple confusion, you can try using a cup, spoon, or syringe to feed them. If you use a bottle, opt for one with a slow-flow nipple and use the ‘paced bottle feeding’ technique to mimic the rhythm of breastfeeding.

How to Know Your Baby is Getting Enough

It’s easy to worry when you can’t quantify how much your baby is eating. The best and most reliable way to monitor their intake is by tracking their diaper output. This tells you exactly what’s going on inside their little body.

If diaper output decreases significantly or your baby becomes lethargic, contact your pediatrician immediately.