10 Ways Dads Can Help With Breastfeeding (Besides Cleaning Pump Parts)

Right after a feeding is your time to shine. While your partner is feeling physically spent from the feed (breastfeeding burns up to 500 calories a day!), you can swoop in and take over the next crucial steps. Gently take your baby and master the art of burping. Try a few different positions:

• Over the shoulder: The classic hold. Drape a burp cloth over your shoulder and gently pat or rub your baby’s back.
• Sitting up: Sit your baby on your lap, supporting their chest and head with one hand while you pat their back with the other.
• Face down on your lap: Lay your baby across your lap, supporting their head to make sure it’s higher than their chest, and gently rub their back.

Once the burps are out, it’s on to diaper duty. Handling the post-feed diaper change gives your partner a solid 10-15 minute break to stretch, grab a drink, or just sit quietly. This simple hand-off creates a rhythm where you are an indispensable part of every single feeding cycle. It’s a powerful way to share the load and bond with your baby.

Your partner isn’t the only one who can provide comfort and closeness. You, dad, are a source of immense security for your baby. One of the most powerful tools in your toolkit is skin-to-skin contact. After a feed, when the baby is full and a bit sleepy, take off your shirt and let the baby rest directly on your chest. Their little ear against your heartbeat is incredibly soothing.

This isn’t just about calming the baby; it’s about building your unique bond. It regulates the baby’s temperature, heart rate, and breathing. It also gives your partner a true, hands-free break to shower, eat a meal with both hands, or even take a much-needed nap. You become the ‘human pacifier,’ the safe space for baby to relax. This proves that feeding isn’t the only way to nurture your child.

In the early weeks, your home can feel like a revolving door of well-meaning family and friends. While their excitement is lovely, it can be incredibly draining for a new mom who is healing, sleep-deprived, and trying to establish breastfeeding. This is where you become the protector of her peace.

Your Role as the Gatekeeper:

• Manage Visitors: Before anyone comes over, ask your partner if she’s feeling up to it. Be the one to set time limits. A friendly, “We’d love to see you! We’re a bit tired, so is a 30-minute visit okay?” works wonders.
• Run Interference: Field the phone calls, texts, and doorbell rings. Let your partner rest without interruption.
• Handle Household Logistics: Take charge of ordering groceries, managing package deliveries, and dealing with any other household tasks that might disrupt the calm.

Your job is to create a peaceful ‘bubble’ around your partner and baby, allowing them to focus solely on feeding and recovery. This protective role is one of the most loving things you can do.

Imagine trying to do an important task without any of your tools nearby. Frustrating, right? That’s what it can feel like for a mom who sits down to breastfeed only to realize her water bottle, phone, and a snack are all across the room. You can be the architect of her comfort by creating and maintaining a perfect ‘nursing nook’.

Assemble a basket or a small cart next to her favorite feeding spot (a comfy chair, the corner of the sofa) and keep it stocked with essentials:

• Hydration: A large, reusable water bottle with a straw.
• Nutrition: Easy-to-eat, one-handed snacks like granola bars, nuts, or fruit.
• Comfort: Nipple cream, burp cloths, and extra pillows for support (like a Boppy or My Brest Friend).
• Entertainment: Her phone and charger, a book or tablet, and the TV remote.

Regularly restocking this station without being asked shows you’re thinking ahead and anticipating her needs. It’s a small act of service that makes a huge difference in her daily comfort.

Making milk is hard work! A breastfeeding mom needs an extra 400-500 calories per day and significantly more fluids than usual. But when you’re caring for a newborn around the clock, it’s easy to forget to eat or drink enough. You can take this mental load completely off her plate.

Think of yourself as her personal chef and hydration coach. Your mission is simple: keep her fueled.

• Water, Water, Water: Every time you see her sit down to nurse, bring her a full glass of water without her having to ask.
• Snack Master: Keep the kitchen stocked with healthy, easy-to-grab snacks. Think cheese sticks, yogurt, hard-boiled eggs, and pre-cut veggies.
• Meal Prep: If you can, take charge of dinner. Even something simple like a sandwich or a bowl of soup is a huge help. On weekends, you could prep some meals or snacks for the week ahead.

By taking ownership of her nutrition, you’re not just caring for her; you’re directly contributing to the quality and quantity of her milk supply. You are literally helping to feed your baby.

Did you know that frantic crying is actually a late sign of hunger? By the time a baby is wailing, they can be too worked up to latch easily, leading to frustration for everyone. You can become an expert in your baby’s early language and prevent these meltdowns.

Watch for these early hunger cues:

• Rooting: Turning their head and opening their mouth as if searching for the breast.
• Lip Smacking: Making little sucking or smacking noises with their mouth.
• Hand-to-Mouth: Bringing their fists or fingers to their mouth.
• Stirring: Starting to wake up and move around more actively.

When you spot these signs, you can calmly say, “Hey, I think she’s starting to look hungry,” and bring the baby to your partner. This proactive approach keeps the feeding experience calm and positive. It also shows you’re paying close attention and are deeply in tune with your baby’s needs.

Breastfeeding can be an emotional rollercoaster. One day it feels easy and natural, and the next it can be filled with challenges like a painful latch, worries about supply, or sheer exhaustion from cluster feeding. During these tough moments, your emotional support is the most valuable gift you can give.

How to be her biggest cheerleader:

• Listen without fixing: Sometimes she just needs to vent her frustrations. You don’t need to solve the problem. Just listen, nod, and say, “That sounds so hard. I’m sorry you’re going through that.”
• Offer specific praise: Instead of a generic “You’re doing great,” try something more specific. “I am so amazed at how patient you are with him during these long night feeds,” or “You are working so hard to feed our baby, and I’m so proud of you.”
• Remind her of her strength: On a tough day, remind her how far she’s come. Celebrate the small victories together.

Remember, postpartum hormones are intense. Your calm presence and consistent encouragement can be the anchor that gets her through the storm. You are her safe harbor.

Night feedings are often the most grueling part of the newborn phase. While you can’t do the actual feeding, you can structure the night to maximize your partner’s sleep. This is about efficiency and teamwork. Instead of her doing everything from start to finish, create a system.

Here’s a sample ‘Night Shift’ routine that can make a world of difference:

This system can turn 45-60 minutes of awake time for mom into just 20-30 minutes. Those extra minutes of uninterrupted sleep are pure gold and can drastically improve her mental and physical health.

Everyone has an opinion on parenting, especially when it comes to feeding. Your partner might face a barrage of unsolicited advice from family or friends, like “Are you sure he’s getting enough?” or “Why don’t you just give a bottle of formula?” This can be incredibly undermining.

You can act as a buffer and advocate. Before family visits, you can gently set expectations: “We’re really excited for you to meet the baby. Just a heads-up, we’re working hard on breastfeeding, and we’d appreciate everyone’s positive support.”

If a negative comment comes up, you can be the one to respond calmly and confidently. A simple, “We’re working closely with our lactation consultant, and we’re really happy with how it’s going,” can shut down criticism and show you and your partner are a united front. Your confidence in her will boost her own.

The newborn days can feel like a blur. It’s easy to get lost in the cycle of feeding, sleeping, and changing diapers, and to feel like you’re not making any progress. You can be the family historian and morale officer.

Take photos and videos of these fleeting moments — not just the perfect, smiling ones, but the quiet, everyday ones. A picture of your partner asleep in the chair with the baby on her chest, a video of the baby’s milk-drunk smile after a feed. These will be treasures later.

More importantly, point out the progress. Say things like, “Look how much more comfortable he is with latching now compared to last week!” or “We survived our first week of cluster feeding! We should order a pizza to celebrate.” Acknowledging these small victories helps you both see how far you’ve come and reinforces that you are a capable, successful team.